Saturday …

Up at the ungodessly hour of 4am this morning.   My cat decided to do a pounce on my face and just really kept going until I woke up.  Cup of coffee and time to work on my next painting.  I decided to maintain the same structure in my work for  20 pieces.  Not changing my direction has been a wonderful experience which is entirely exasperating, daunting and down right frustrating.  Yesssss and no.  I have just this day begun to see the good yes.  A lot of emotions have come out … and that’s not always good for an artist.  Too much can overwhelm and defeat.  Keeping things on task has helped and defeats.  Twenty years of this process and I know a good bit of myself and yet these other parts I have shielded myself from the ooze.  I’m a pragmatist.  What gets in the way of success isn’t going to happen.  But giving myself the time to work on this “dark matter” and not believing I could/can manage it has helped me through not always an entirely pleasant experience.  I have managed to transform some of it to the better and understand myself which is good for me and better for my artwork.  I think it’s hard to be innocent in a predatory world.  Better still that the predatory finds a different path.